Coping with loss
Losing someone or something you love or care deeply about is very painful. You may experience all kinds of difficult emotions and it may feel like the pain and sadness you 're experiencing will never let up. These are normal reactions to a significant loss. But while there is no right or wrong way to grieve, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain that, in time, can renew you and permit you to move on.
When faced with a loss, crisis or life-changing event, you are suddenly thrust into an unfamiliar world, one that can be frightening and unsettling.
Knowing some simple ways of coping and how to make it through the first few days or hours can help ease some of the sorrow.
This lens offers articles and resources along with helpful, healthy strategies for coping with a loss and the grief response that follows.
Sometime the best you can hope to do during times of challenge is remember the basics and take things one minute at at time, one hour at a time, one day at a time.
It can be helpful to realize that
On life 's most difficult days all that we can do is simply take things moment by moment.
Face the loss
Share your feelings with others. You 're suffering, and it 's okay and it 's healthy to seek out people who will take care of you.Ignore people who say unhelpful things such as "get over it", "stop being so sensitive", "I got over it quickly when it happened to me", etcYou can reconnect with such people when you 're feeling stronger; until then, you don 't need their impatience knocking against you.Let your pain come out. Let the tears flow. It is okay to cry even if you 're not the kind of person who shows your feelings. Shift the focus as often as you can from the sadness, disappointment , anger and broken heart and try instead to remember the good times and the best things. Focusing on negative aspects to try and increase the intensity and duration of the pain from your loss won 't change what has happened but will make you feel a great deal worse. Distract yourself . Too many thoughts going around your head in circles can lead to second guessing, wishing you 'd being more this, that or the other or to other unhelpful thought processes. By getting busy and occupying yourself in tasks that require a different focus, you give yourself a break from constantly ruminating over the loss. Save things that remind you of your loved one or your lost dream. Don 't let the "if-only" feelings take over. "If only I 'd been nicer." "If only I 'd made time to visit more often."
Music can be a very soothing way to cope when you 're feeling loss and pain.
If someone tells you to "get over it," don 't argue with them. This will just make you feel even worse, because it will make you feel as though you carry a weaker tolerance for emotions than someone else.
Life is beautiful – it has many wonderful surprises in store for you. So go ahead and smile , visit new places, and meet new people.
You are free to think of other things. There is nothing that says you have to keep dwelling on the loss to prove your sadness or to show others how much the loss means to you. People already know that you 're devastated; you don 't have to prove or explain anything.