Is this essay nice, tell if any errors.

Dear Student.
There are a lot of grammatical errors in your answer. We would suggest you to take help of your teacher. However here are some errors:   

• he had called some of....
• soul hunter line is incorrect 
• he had made his brother 
• a little bit scared ....
• took out his camera... 
• many voices 
• chased us...
• all my friends knew....

We hope that this answer solves your query.
Regards