'My spirit is tore itself in struggling for its lost freedom, all was useless'. Explain.

It was the first day in the land of apples for the narrator, a different scenery surrounded her from the one that she was used to. She was enwrapped in a cacophony of noises and voices, she heard the large bell ringing for breakfast, intruding into sensitive ears insensitively. The annoying clatter of shoes on bare floors and the constant clash of harsh noises with an undercurrent of unknown murmuring tongues made a bedlam in which she was comfortably ensconced. She was aching to get out of this situation, her spirit was struggling within for the lost freedom but she knew that struggle was futile because she would have to survive all the obstacles that came her away, escape was not an option. She would have to live it down.