Plz experts check this letter writting and tell whether it's correct or not..

Dear Student,
1. Subject- Instead of writing on rainy season write 'during' rainy season and poor drainage system instead of poor drainage.
2. Opening sentence- Through the columns of your esteemed daily, I would like to draw the attention of the concerned authorities towards the poor drainage system in our locality.
3. Description- The drainage system in our society has worsened due to the rainy season because the drains are blocked. They overflow and dirty water gets filled in the streets. This can further spread diseases in our locality.
4. Concluding sentence- No need to write "our" twice. Write 'the drainage system'.
Regards

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Hi , I went through your letter , You can make a few changes 
1) in the subject write "in rainy season " instead of on rainy season 
2) in the subject wirte "poor drainage system " instead of "poor drainage "
3) In the salutation write "Respected Sir "
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4) in the introduction paragraph write "through the columns of your esteemed newspaper" 
5) in the consclusion paragraph write " I kindly expect you to highlight this issue through your newspaper . I am looking for a positive response regarding the matter . 
  • 3
Hi , I went through your letter , You can make a few changes 
1) in the subject write "in rainy season " instead of on rainy season 
2) in the subject wirte "poor drainage system " instead of "poor drainage "
3) In the salutation write "Respected Sir "
4) in the introduction paragraph write "through the columns of your esteemed newspaper" 
5) in the consclusion paragraph write " I kindly expect you to highlight this issue through your newspaper . I am looking for a positive response regarding the matter .

 
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